WARNING: THIS STORY CAN BE TRIGGERING FOR PEOPLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES
And here I am, staring at myself in the mirror and thinking “Wow, I am actually pretty, I am actually smart, yes I do fuck up, but who doesn’t? I am weird and I am clumsy. But it makes me smile, so why did I hate it so much?“.
A few years ago, I wouldn’t even think that I would be able to love and respect myself. I was anorexic, depressed, suicidal, and was always wearing black. I was miserable and desperate. That life is like a dream or a nightmare, to be honest.
I don’t think about it that often but when I do, it surprises me how much I’ve grown. It also makes me sad that there are still people who feel the same way and can’t find the exit, or how they only feel good when they are validated by others. My heart breaks. It is shattered.
How did you find the way out? I just took the first step, and then the second, and I started walking.
Self-care wasn’t about accepting yourself instantly and being constantly happy with who I am. It was hurtful. So many tears, so much pain. Going through traumatizing experiences, reflecting and doing shadow work. I am still doing all of it to keep myself on track.
The reality is that hating yourself can be beneficial to big corporations and for some people who thrive on the insecurities of others.
Another reality is that if we don’t love and respect ourselves, we cannot expect the same from others. Loving yourself comes with setting boundaries and limits. I never had those until 2 years ago and it changed my life.
No one teaches us about these things in school, why? I don’t know. But I do know that everything starts with accepting ourselves for who we are.
I would like to see a world where everybody is ok with themselves and they love themselves as much as they love their idols. We are so far away from it.
But I keep hoping.
If someone you know or you are suicidal and/or depressed, look up Buddy Project – it is a platform that pairs you with another person to support you. Mental health is important and should not be overlooked!
If you want to share your story of overcoming certain insecurities or issues, on loving yourself, body positivity or would like to recommend platforms that support people with mental health issues, email us to firstname.lastname@example.org