“I’m Not Ashamed”, a poem by Citra Benazir

My body is not a temple
Like Shirley or Juno
My body is not a wonderland
Like Alice or John Mayer for that matter
My body is not home
Because I do not know what home is
We can sit here
All day
Going on and on and on
About the whereabouts of my home
But
Let’s not get into that
Here’s my two cents
On defining my body
Unlike what you see
On your television screens
Unlike what you see
On those billboards you pass on the way to work
My body
Is weary
From the shaming of those bullies
My body
Is devastated
From the long hours spent worrying
My body
Is full of scars
Seen
Unseen
Inside
And Out
From heartbreaks and break ups
Disappointments and Let downs
Grips from those boys
Who assaulted me
In the playground
In the parking lot
Scars from a girl
Who cannot stand
Being in this body
Every hour
Every day

But soon
I realized
My body
Recounts a story
Of a girl
Who has kept on
Surviving
My body
Holds the truth
Of the world
Who has kept on
Strangling and Pushing
My body
Is my friend
All stretch marks and cellulite
Thick thighs with no gaps
Burnt tan lines
Fat and happy
Boobs big enough
That will just not be constrained
Under a bra
My body
Tight and loose
At all the wrong places
My body
Is my friend

Follow Citra on Instagram @thearticbenazir

Citra Benazir (25, She/Her) is an Indonesian activist who focuses on sex education, body positivity and women’s rights. Citra founded a safe space for all volunteers called Tis The Lyfe. She also published a book Pleasure Girls which entails the story of her own journey of womanhood. And recently she also started a podcast with the same name.

Featured photo by @georginacoxpersonaltraining, inspired by @sarashakeel & @zinteta

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